Month: May 2016

Pregaming FireFly 2016

Good evening rockers, shockers, suburban power walkers, pop and lockers, and even you bloody shit talkers. Contrary to my last transmission from the great northern wasteland, my output has been more akin to your crackhead dads child support payments. You know? Inconsistent. ¬†As June comes at me like an octogenarian two highballs and a Percocet deep, slowly and with a distinct odor of mothballs. It’s that time of year where a small crew and I point our sails southwest toward The First State, the smallest sales tax free state, Joe Biden’s home, Yup. Delaware. Home of the Firefly Music Festival. For our crew it’s basically a week of music, drinking, eating, sweating, drunken dancing, corralling youngsters to form a human circular wall to block the haters from watching me drunkenly piss by the main stage, and other shit Vikings do while abroad. This years model comes complete with an oversized ego(Deadmau5), Stevie Nicks complexes(Florence and her Machines), banjos(Muffinman and son), and straight up, heat on 455, bring it down and raise it up again funk(Earth, Wind, and MF’n Fire). The obligatory fake punk band with a missing singer and replacement pop vocals that the Warped tour dropped off for puking in the van, an aged hip hop artist with no, zero, absolutely devoid of any type of social consciousness however a bevy of ho’s from multiple area codes, oh...

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